Problems With "Fake It Till You Make It"

Written at 2025-08-27 - Updated at 2025-08-28

I think “Fake it till you make it” is very poor advice if you read it literally, and otherwise, it is simply badly phrased advice.

If you take it literally, it encourages people to present themselves as something they are not. If you don’t see any problem with this, then why not phrase it more directly as: “It’s OK to manipulate others until you get what you want?” At least that wording captures the Machiavellian intent.

If you take a more charitable reading, such as “by acting like X, you eventually become like X. The actions you repeat become sticky, turn into habits, and eventually feel natural”. Then I would ask, “How is that even faking?” For example, when you act the way a courageous person would act in a situation that requires courage, would you say that you are faking courage or that you just acted courageously?

Excellence comes about as a result of habit. We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts.
- Aristotle

Additionally, it is not very hard to find cases where this “fake it” logic fails. For example, if you are not able to do a pull-up, pretending you can do one is not going to help nearly as much as following exercises specifically designed for someone who cannot yet do a pull-up but wants to build the strength to get there. This is actually the opposite of faking: you acknowledge your current incapability and work from that starting point.

Maybe a much better piece of advice than “fake it till you make it” would be to remind ourselves that we grow more by practicing than by pretending. Just genuinely try to build the small habits that move you closer to who you want to become.